What She Never Told Us
Updated: Oct 6, 2020
There is more to a mother than meets the eye. My siblings and I didn’t really understand that until we grew up. Then, when our own kids started to come along, experience revealed that there was a lot she didn’t say through the years.
Here are ten things she never told us:
She wasn’t just a mom. She was a counselor, cook, housekeeper, chauffeur, hair stylist, secretary, teacher, nurse, referee, hygiene inspector, event coordinator, story-teller, safety patrol, and comforter.
She didn’t always find it easy to love us. That’s not to say that she didn’t love us – she did that very well. But loving others isn’t always effortless. There were times we were, well, little monsters! Still, she chose love.
She was exhausted. Our mom stayed at home for many years, worked part-time for some, and gave in ministry through it all. She served alongside my Dad within the family, church, and community. We did not grow up around extended family and so she rarely enjoyed it’s benefits. She did not have grandparents to babysit. She didn’t get breaks from cooking meals. There were no reinforcements at appointments or events. There were probably many nights that she fell into bed.
She got sick too. None of us remember our mom being sick but know it happened. Our assumption is that our lack of recollection is a combination of our own self-focus and her pushing through rough days.
She knew loneliness. Our dad’s work hours were long and, at times, unpredictable. In the midst of responsibilities and demands, she worked hard to build relationships. Our family moved several times. She said many goodbyes and started over while helping us do the same. She experienced living in a foreign culture and striving to communicate in another language. Through it all, she showed us what it is to seek relationship with God and others, but there must have been many lonely times along the way.
She sacrificed. We weren’t wealthy, but we didn’t know it. Our mom didn’t wear name-brand clothing or enjoy extravagances like getting her nails done. She used that money to help provide things like piano lessons for us. But her sacrifice went beyond the material. She gave of herself regularly to join my dad in creating a wonderful home and childhood for us.
She tried to protect us from the ugly – from within her heart, within family dynamics, and from the world. She didn’t do it to place us in a bubble, but to wisely shield us from the things and situations that we were better off being unaware of at the time.
She wanted to take it for us. We experienced struggles, fear, rejection, failure, consequences, and growing pains. She hurt when we did. There had to have been times when she wished to take it away, but chose to trust God to work in our lives as we grew and learned.
She had much to give that wasn’t always appreciated – wisdom, love, and guidance. She was often met with eye-rolls, sighs, and even anger. It took many years, and a good dose of humility, for us to become thankful for her input.
She loved us enough to let us go. One of the greatest gifts from a parent, yet one of the most bittersweet, is independence. She taught us the difference between help and dependency. Many years were spent teaching and equipping us to leave their home so we could build our own.
There is more to a mother than meets the eye. There was a lot she didn’t say through the years – she just lived it. Her example taught us to do the same.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! We love you!
~ Ashley, Kelsey, and Wesley