Last week was unnerving. Within twenty-four hours, our oldest son went from being an energetic boy to having no appetite and lacking energy to even walk through the house. There was no fever or other physical symptoms. It was time to take him to a doctor.
The night before the appointment was tough for Eric and me. Our concern and fears mounted as we tried to think of what might be causing the sudden and drastic change in our son. There were too few symptoms to hone in on any one illness.
But something was wrong with our child. That something could be anything.
We went to bed. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. Then, as skillfully as a lion sneaks up on its prey, the lies of the Evil One surrounded my heart and whispered in my ear.
“Maybe your child has a terminal illness. It is possible. This is probably really bad. God doesn’t love your son as much as you. Maybe God is going to take your child. But, then, a loving God wouldn’t do that… would He?”
I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and willed myself to ignore the chill of fear that was working its way up my spine. But, like a toxic gas, panic welled up and began to suffocate me. The darkness of the night seemed to envelope and pin me into paralysis. I struggled for breath.
The words from our pastor from the day prior came to mind. He has been preaching about the armor of God and had focused on the shield of faith. “God is always there and He offers complete protection from Satan’s fiery darts when we take up the shield of faith.”
I cried out to God in expectation of God-given victory over the lies that threatened to mutilate. “Rescue me, Father!” I asked Him for the peace that comes when my mind is stayed on Him and prayed Scripture.
As darkness is immediately dissipated by light, Evil fled. The presence of I Am covered and comforted me. His incredible peace consumed me. He stilled the storm of my heart. He completely extinguished the destructive fire in my mind. I laid still in awe. He had done it. Just has God had promised, He was my salvation! My heart soared in wonder and praise to the God that reigns.
In the following days, we heard perplexed doctors say that we needed to “rule out a few things” through blood work and tests. Thankfully, many frightening possibilities have been removed from the table. At this time, we still do not know what is the cause of the continuing issues.
How easily I could be struck down with anxiety as we seek and wait for answers to what is going on in our son’s body… but GOD! He is my strength. No matter what comes, He is good.
Our house is littered with 3×5 cards we call “stop sign verses” that have Scripture written on them. We see them frequently throughout the day. When poisoned arrows of doubt and fear are hurling toward me, they are desolated by the shield of faith when I read again (and again, and again) His unchanging Truth. His word preserves my life!
Someday I will share this story with our son in detail. I will tell him how God rescued and proved Himself true to his mother during this time. For now, it is our honor to pray with him, tell of God’s trustworthy character, and to share in his awe as he witness the beauty found in the fellowship of believers who are praying for him… and for us.
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith…” 1 Peter 5:6-9(a)